my life is damn sian..

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MrSianGuyLifeIsDamnDamnSIAN

SIAN

Sunday, June 14, 2009

sealed it up, but the feeling is still there.

i was out today. met up with phionna at bpp starbucks to study. coincidence that i managed to see her at bpp. then went on to give ashleigh a surprise birthday party. he was half naked in his room watching harry potter?!?! met up with my 409 classmates and some other schoolmates. on the way home with a friend, i told her i was very very sian. just dont know why. she asked me why am i torturing myself. it's not that i want to torture myself, i am just sian luh. it felt it seriously cant be helped. she told me i should make myself laugh more, just laugh at anything. sometimes, even if i did whatever i can to make myself happier, in the end, when everything ends i will still be back to my sian self. recently, i've finally take a step further, i have sealed up all the things you gave me and all the things about us in a bag. sealed it up with layers and layers with tape. i even wrote a "please do not open" outside the bag. however, regardless of it, sometimes, somehow, some way, it still manages to appear in my mind. we have just drifted apart like this. we have not been talking for sometime already. i actually still have some questions that i myself cant answer. i asked myself, what if one day she turns back, although it is quite impossible, just what if, what will i do. will i be able to let her go totally? sealed it up, but the feeling is still there.

LEEZHIHANEUGENE

TWENTY.06/02/92
nanhuahigh.409'08
andersonJC.28/09
GYM-SIAO
SUPER-mugger
Bballer
S-I-A-N

If I knew it would be the last time
That I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time
that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
and call you back for one more.

If I knew it would be the last time
I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word,
so I could play them back day after day.

If I knew it would be the last time,
I could spare an extra minute
to stop and say "I love you,"
instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.

If I knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day,
Well I'm sure you'll have so many more,
so I can let just this one slip away.

For surely there's always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance
to make everything just right.

There will always be another day
to say "I love you,"
And certainly there's another chance
to say our "Anything I can do?"

But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I LOVE YOU
and I hope we never forget.

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance
you get to hold your loved one tight.

So if you're waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you'll surely regret the day,

That you didn't take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
and you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out to be their one last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today,
and whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them
and that you'll always hold them dear

Take time to say "I'm sorry,"
"Please forgive me," "Thank you," or "It's okay."
And if tomorrow never comes,
you'll have no regrets about today.

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