my life is damn sian..

life seems to be getting more and more boring. and it really really seemed like i can never find any person who's just like you. no two person is identical in this world, that sure is true. when i try to go someone else, i hesitated, she was different from you. yesterday i was talking to isaac about relationships. we mentioned that, like magnet where opposite poles attracts, differences are what attract a guy and a girl together. we usually love someone who is different from us. personality, character, everything, even interest. indeed it was true. what are the differences in me and her... she is very cheerful, active, lively, everything i wasnt. she is able to socialise with anyone she meet, and within seconds, she is already talking to them like good friends. thats one thing i wasnt able to do. that's really one great thing i love about her. i always loved the feeling of having her beside me, together with my family, my relatives and my closest friends. i was confident she would be able to mix well with my friends and relatives because she was very sociable. i have always wanted to introduce her to my family and relatives, but then every year, it wasnt the right time. my parents didnt really approve me of being in a relationship. but i intended to introduce to my relatives during next yr's chinese new year. but then, guess it aint going to happen. i knew i wasnt able to mix well with her relatives. but she was, and i really love it. she always tell me she want to see me happy, and not always be so sian... she told me she like to see me play basketball, just like how i like to see her dance. she got me interested in dance. i even thought of learning dance, so that i could do what she loved with her. she was my motivation to train so hard for basketball. as she was always training very hard for her dance competitions. she was different from me, perhaps thats why my attraction for her was so strong. can you imagine if you were to be with someone who has very similar character and personality as you? it would be like loving the opposite sex of yourself. sound weird huh. but then, when both parties are so different, there will be alot both parties have to compromise to. in terms of knowing when to give in. absence makes the heart grow fonder. maybe it is because we got together too often that sometimes somethings just doesnt matter to her, and it applies to me as well. i am pretty much a "no-life" guy now. the only thing i enjoy doing is basically just basketball. i tell myself i know i'm not going to be able to find someone else just like you, but then, think i going to take some time to accept that. i dont even know what i am thinking. even with rumours telling me that someone is going after you, i am still having these feelings. sometimes at night, i still cant sleep. woke up this morning, i know there isnt going to be anyone right beside me anymore. tears dont flow, but the pain still exist in my heart. i miss you.