my life is damn sian..

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MrSianGuyLifeIsDamnDamnSIAN

SIAN

Monday, July 13, 2009

recently, i have been feeling the stress from all my workload. pw, tutorials, essays... and some more. during the sunday, i spent my whole day trying to attempt to complete my eom for pw. but then, after spending the whole day, still didnt manage to produce anything. as i was doing, there was these moments i really felt like collapsing. i really felt like giving up. felt damn tensed. so decided to look for something to destress myself. but then, looking around, it seemed like there isnt anything i could do. was talking to isaac then, but then, didnt really helped much. i sat down, and stone. at that time, how i wish i could contact her, like how i did before and just tell her how i feel. just talking to her, seeing her messages then made me felt... relaxed. everytime she messaged me, it made me feel less tensed. during then, i really hope she was there, even just on the phone, texting her, chatting with her. she makes me feel less tensed and calm. but then, this time, i know, she wasnt there anymore. it seemed like there was no one i could turn to who could made me felt the same way she did before. i didnt know what to do to make myself feel better. the only thing i could go to is, solitaire. i kept playing with it when i feel like dying. but then, it didnt really help much. tried eating something and watching some tv, but all these are just momentary effects. maybe you might think i am exaggerating, but its the truth. i just miss her, so very much. miss everything about her. the whole of sunday, nothing felt good, except being able to sleep at night. really miss the times studying with her, everytime i felt frustrated, tensed, stressed, she would be there, to give me hug or just chat with me, to cool me down. someone to hold my hand tight, letting me know that she was there for me. everytime when i am stress, it seemed like there is pretty much nothing i can go to. i couldnt find the feeling she made me feel when i am with my friends. how i wish there is a chance for me to turn back. it seemed like life is so aimless, and dull. with stress and assignments piling up, nothing seemed to be going the way i hope it would be. just want her to know, i miss her, and that i would do it all again, to make her feel loved again.

LEEZHIHANEUGENE

TWENTY.06/02/92
nanhuahigh.409'08
andersonJC.28/09
GYM-SIAO
SUPER-mugger
Bballer
S-I-A-N

If I knew it would be the last time
That I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time
that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
and call you back for one more.

If I knew it would be the last time
I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word,
so I could play them back day after day.

If I knew it would be the last time,
I could spare an extra minute
to stop and say "I love you,"
instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.

If I knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day,
Well I'm sure you'll have so many more,
so I can let just this one slip away.

For surely there's always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance
to make everything just right.

There will always be another day
to say "I love you,"
And certainly there's another chance
to say our "Anything I can do?"

But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I LOVE YOU
and I hope we never forget.

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance
you get to hold your loved one tight.

So if you're waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you'll surely regret the day,

That you didn't take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
and you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out to be their one last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today,
and whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them
and that you'll always hold them dear

Take time to say "I'm sorry,"
"Please forgive me," "Thank you," or "It's okay."
And if tomorrow never comes,
you'll have no regrets about today.

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