my life is damn sian..

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MrSianGuyLifeIsDamnDamnSIAN

SIAN

Thursday, July 09, 2009

today, as usual, was a sian day. went to bukit panjang plaza and saw my junior with his girlfriend, in nanhua uniform. kind of reminded me of the days when i was with her in nanhua uniform as well. and we would usually only roam around clementi central with our friends. but me and her, we would even travel all the way to vivo city, because its near her house i guess. but then, it was fun though going around with her to different places after school in uniform. would do anything to get those days back. what is there to look forward to everyday? it seemed like in my life, i dont really have anything to look forward to. everyday is just waking up, going to school, study, do homework, come back home, dinner, sleep. and pretty much thats it. people tell me junior college is going to be a very fun stage in my life. i just fell into the deepest hole, which i never thought i would, all cause of me, myself, and i. has been stuck inside for three months, couldnt get out. whats there to live for? life has been very empty. i would do anything, to turn back the time. i believe, to find love, its really up to fate, but to maintain it, its really dependent on the couple. guess i failed to do so. how useless can i get? how foolish can i be. the three months doesnt seemed to help much. the feelings still there. memories come back so very often, even when i dont want to. it comes back. but then it seemed like she is doing well. she just seemed to forget about everything so easily... what's the explaination behind this? i really dont know. somehow, this can be good, for her, but then, these one year plus together, seemed to be nothing to her anymore, maybe just memories that will be forgotten one day. everyday, it feels like i am trying to wish, pray, hope she would come back, but then, is it possible, i would ask myself. wanting to spend time with her like those days when we were still in nanhua uniform. going to kfc, eating like crazy, having fun, without worrying about anything. now i am seeing her personal message on msn saying "the many little things"... that was actually what i was trying to emphasize to her when we were quarrelling then... haiz. guess its all too late...

LEEZHIHANEUGENE

TWENTY.06/02/92
nanhuahigh.409'08
andersonJC.28/09
GYM-SIAO
SUPER-mugger
Bballer
S-I-A-N

If I knew it would be the last time
That I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time
that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
and call you back for one more.

If I knew it would be the last time
I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word,
so I could play them back day after day.

If I knew it would be the last time,
I could spare an extra minute
to stop and say "I love you,"
instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.

If I knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day,
Well I'm sure you'll have so many more,
so I can let just this one slip away.

For surely there's always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance
to make everything just right.

There will always be another day
to say "I love you,"
And certainly there's another chance
to say our "Anything I can do?"

But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I LOVE YOU
and I hope we never forget.

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance
you get to hold your loved one tight.

So if you're waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you'll surely regret the day,

That you didn't take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
and you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out to be their one last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today,
and whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them
and that you'll always hold them dear

Take time to say "I'm sorry,"
"Please forgive me," "Thank you," or "It's okay."
And if tomorrow never comes,
you'll have no regrets about today.

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