my life is damn sian..

i was just told that i am quite stubborn... but then is it a good thing or bad, that friend of mine wants to steal it from me. i guess i was quite stubborn when i am with her. dont know why i was so stubborn? haiz... lead to all the shit that landed me in this sorry state now i guess. today, ate alot of crap food luh. finally got rid of the craving for kfc today, ate a 2 piece chicken meal and cheese fries with wanzheng. really have to thank her, for keeping me company recently... but then, the past keep flashing back recently. just a couple moments ago, isaac did mentioned, its going to be troublesome to be in a relationship now. i have so much work to do, monday to thursday ending at later than 5pm. promos are coming in less than 2 months and with pw adding to the pile of workload. seemed like i can never have time for relationships. but then, having her around sometimes, can make me feel less stress though. recently have been damn stress with school. and yet i couldnt find time to relax. haiz. sometimes, just feel like quitting school or just throwing all my work for a week, just a week. let me wake up in the morning, being able to ask myself, "hmmm, so what should i do today?" but then, doubt it can ever happen. really feel like i am a very incompetent person. what skills do i have? what am i good at? i always ask myself these questions. from the look of my results, i am not good at studying. basketball? i dont think i can even make it to the team. but i will just keep training and trying i guess. music and arts? wanted to and still want to learn dance and guitar, perhaps during my free time. when i REALLY have the free time. girls? relationships? just ruined one with my own hands... seemed like i not good at anything. haiz. sometimes, just wish i am good at something... even if it is at handling a business, so i can help out at my dad's office. life has been damn boring. nothing much to do besides studying. sometimes just really there was someone who is always there for me, whenever i need her, she will be there. used to have, but i lost it to someone else, or just lost it. i am able to get through life without her, but really hope i can find her, and bring her back again. seemed like there is nothing in life for me to be happy about. i am only looking forward to the extra sleep i can get in weekends. thats all. sounds kinda dull huh. yeah it is. btw, HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY MEICHIA!!!