my life is damn sian..

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MrSianGuyLifeIsDamnDamnSIAN

SIAN

Sunday, September 27, 2009

i just woke up half an hour ago. after so many weekends, this is the first time that i woke up myself. i had a dream, and i couldnt really sleep. this dream of mine, i shouldnt even be dreaming about it in the first place. it was like the whole of nanhua was at this outdoor camp on some island. the dream started with me and her being together already. yes, sad to say, its about her again. then initially we were together. we even spend the night together. just sleeping side by side each other. but then, the next few days, though she was acting abit strange, we were still together, always, playing, eating together, talking. the whole night, my dream was a scene just like that. everything was ok and we were still happily spending together. it was like the rehappening of the sec3 adventure camp in malaysia. then, i woke up. it was around eight plus am in the morning. after that, i tried to put myself back to sleep, but i couldnt. why? till now i am still having dreams like this?! i am really trying to forget about it. and i thought i did. i thought i could. but i guess, my soul is affected. everything within thats happening, flashbacks, dreams, images appearing in my head. although on the outside, i'm trying not to think of her, get myself busy with revision for promos. but then, these unwanted things still appears within me. in my head, my heart, and my dreams. people can say that i am useless and weak, that even after six months already, i still cant totally let it go. i admit it. i am weak. useless. i dont want to think about it, but it comes back, dont want to dream about it but dreams about her just appear in my head. sometimes, i just want to take a break, and so i started stoning. but once i started stoning, trying to keep my mind blank, images of me and her in the past and she and her new boyfriend start to appear, flashbacks. i dont know what to do with myself anymore.

LEEZHIHANEUGENE

TWENTY.06/02/92
nanhuahigh.409'08
andersonJC.28/09
GYM-SIAO
SUPER-mugger
Bballer
S-I-A-N

If I knew it would be the last time
That I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time
that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
and call you back for one more.

If I knew it would be the last time
I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word,
so I could play them back day after day.

If I knew it would be the last time,
I could spare an extra minute
to stop and say "I love you,"
instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.

If I knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day,
Well I'm sure you'll have so many more,
so I can let just this one slip away.

For surely there's always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance
to make everything just right.

There will always be another day
to say "I love you,"
And certainly there's another chance
to say our "Anything I can do?"

But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I LOVE YOU
and I hope we never forget.

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance
you get to hold your loved one tight.

So if you're waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you'll surely regret the day,

That you didn't take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
and you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out to be their one last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today,
and whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them
and that you'll always hold them dear

Take time to say "I'm sorry,"
"Please forgive me," "Thank you," or "It's okay."
And if tomorrow never comes,
you'll have no regrets about today.

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