my life is damn sian..

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MrSianGuyLifeIsDamnDamnSIAN

SIAN

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

life recently has just been about studying and studying. life like this is really boring. and the worst is that there is so little time, yet so much to do. sometimes i would just like to sit down quietly and try not to think of anything. but then, when everything is peaceful, and i keep my mind empty and free of thoughts, i start to think of things that i shouldnt be thinking about. just awhile i was on facebook, and i dont know whether is it a shock or that it is expected, i saw her photos with her new boyfriend. i couldnt helped but start to feel, terrible, and my eyes start to get teary. cant helped but feel, we were in photos like these a few months back. i am glad that she found someone new, someone better perhaps. but then, i cant get past the barrier the inside of me. honestly i have been living well for the past few months. i didnt really think about her. just occasionally but then i will force myself not to think about it. but then i would start thinking, she was my everything, i thought i was her's too. but i guess i was wrong. to me it was quite a long relationship but she could just forget about it so easily. at the very moment i saw those photos, i really feel like deleting those of mine and her that were taken in the past. feel like just deleting and throwing away all of those memories. why am i so useless? i just hope something can hit my head hard enough for me to totally forget about her. but why cant god or anyone grant me this wish? i miss her nephews, her family. sometimes i really wish i could go and pay them a visit. they treated me so well then. she moved on, i should be moving on too. anyone reading this would have the same feeling. i am trying my best. i really am. but then, i am just so freaking useless. nevertheless, i still want to wish her all her best with her new love.

LEEZHIHANEUGENE

TWENTY.06/02/92
nanhuahigh.409'08
andersonJC.28/09
GYM-SIAO
SUPER-mugger
Bballer
S-I-A-N

If I knew it would be the last time
That I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time
that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
and call you back for one more.

If I knew it would be the last time
I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word,
so I could play them back day after day.

If I knew it would be the last time,
I could spare an extra minute
to stop and say "I love you,"
instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.

If I knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day,
Well I'm sure you'll have so many more,
so I can let just this one slip away.

For surely there's always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance
to make everything just right.

There will always be another day
to say "I love you,"
And certainly there's another chance
to say our "Anything I can do?"

But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I LOVE YOU
and I hope we never forget.

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance
you get to hold your loved one tight.

So if you're waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you'll surely regret the day,

That you didn't take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
and you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out to be their one last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today,
and whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them
and that you'll always hold them dear

Take time to say "I'm sorry,"
"Please forgive me," "Thank you," or "It's okay."
And if tomorrow never comes,
you'll have no regrets about today.

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