my life is damn sian..

life has been quite boring till now as usual... recently finally get to go out with my friends. and surprisingly i bought six tops and a pair of jeans in 3 days la... i recently got to go out with a few friends that i have not met in ages. we are somehow in the same boat i guess. feeling as shit as ever. haiz. recently, i have gotten used to doing things, alone. swim alone, gym alone, walk around places by myself, and i am trying to learn the art of stoning. oh ya, and i just watch the movie 500 days of summer with one the friend that i have not met in ages, i shall name her/him friend X. she seemed to be quite lonesome nowadays and i hope i have made her less bored. about the movie, i think it makes a lot of sense, especially the part where they say shows, movies, cards, songs, just misleads people in misconception, and dumb people like me has fallen into that trap, and yes i got misled. start having stupid and unreal fantasies. now i realise, these fantasies, can never come true i guess. after two relationships in 4 years, i have gone back to square one. i just feel i can never find anyone that will truely love me wholeheartedly. yes, love as they say, is a very huge word. people just keep saying " i love you", but sometimes think again, do they really mean it? or is it just saying it for the sake of saying it? this friend X of mine, she always say i make her sound so pitiful, but then, she is really kinda sad i guess. relationships for her since few years back have not been well. she is kinda moody nowadays and i hope i can help cheer her up. and that i have gain back a new true friend. hope she can pick herself up soon and live life happily. nvr nice to see your friends upset. she is kinda of a blur sotong. somehow, i can say i have let go off my past, but then, sometimes it still comes back and haunt me. haiz. really got no remedy to completely remove it la. damn sian rite. and we agree on somethings too. people don realise, sometimes their calls, or jus a that few smses a day to their loved ones, saying something nice, showing their care and concern, can actually mean alot to the other party. they might think, buying gifts, or replacing all that smses and calls with just one date, is enough to cover up for everything. if one truely loves you, no matter what, they will take the time and effort to just text you and if possible call you daily, to show their concern, and busy can never be an excuse.