my life is damn sian..

today was quite a simple day for me. i played basketball in the morning and had one of my best games in a few months. went on for brunch with my family then went swimming with my friends. went for home and then went for dinner with my family at railmall. then after we ate we went on to cold storage to buy some stuff. there is still more than a month away from christmas and they are already playing christmas songs, selling food like turkeys, and many things in christmas. in short they were trying to create the christmas feel. then i was thinking, this time i am going to celebrate christmas overseas. which is a good thing actually. if i were to stay in singapore, i wouldnt know how to celebrate my christmas either. if i were to celebrate in singapore, it would be like always, going to church with my relatives, then maybe will go on to my grandma house for curry then go home. sounds kind of boring and dull for a christmas right? sometimes, i just hope i have someone to celebrate these festive seasons with. someone special. yeah you can say i have friends, but then many of my friends have their own xmas parties, celebrations and stuffs. but then, usually i would be at home, stoning. its only last year i attended a xmas party... nvm forget about that. my xmas usually were kind of boring and my parents dont really approve of me going out late after the church service and stuff. so i just hope i can have someone with me during these festive seasons, spending christmas together with that special someone and also my good friends, altogether. which i think is kind of impossible. sometimes i do think, perhaps i dont have that X-FACTOR that my friend said that usually someone who can make someone like them alot easily have the X-FACTOR. people around me tell me the right one will appear someday. then i ask, how would i know, they just answer me, you would know somehow. so how many more boring xmas am i going to spend till that very right one appears. when i was singing along the christmas songs in cold storage just now, i felt like i was just singing to myself. i can feel the xmas season, but i cant feel the happiness in it. xmas is supposed to be happy and fun and everyone exchanging gifts, eating ham and turkey and singing xmas carols together. but then, i usually spend time stoning at home. how and when can i ever change my life. believing that my life is not sian doesnt really help. its not that i want to feel or say that my life is always so sian, but the fact is, it is really that sian. if not, i wont be called MRSIANGUY. really hope that special someone would appear soon. and if possible, show yourself and reveal your identity to me.